How To Talk To Your Two To Five-Year-Old Children About S*x

A lot of times, parents are afraid of the word “S*X”, in some cases it creates great discomfort and proves difficult especially if there is no closeness between parent/guardian and child. Talking to your child about sex doesn’t have to be difficult (or embarrassing).

It is important to have the conversation early and occasionally. You can be rest assured that your home will become a safe and comfortable environment for your child to ask questions, also the peace of mind knowing that child has the ability to determine right and wrong. Your child needs to hear accurate information about s*x from you and not from “outsiders”.

This includes the basics (vaginal, oral, and anal s*x), birth control, sexual assault, s*xual molestation, and your family’s moral beliefs. Your child needs to know that he or she can talk with you about s*x. They can talk with you about their changing bodies, their feelings, their concerns, and their confusion. You don’t have to know all of the answers to their questions.

However, you should be willing as a parent to help them find those answers, it is not something you should keep shifting or delegate to some other person.  Help them do the research when you don’t know the answers.

You need to be approachable. You need to make them comfortable talking with you about s*x. Don’t wait until your child asks you about sex before you find the right words. Plan ahead at every age and stage.

Be prepared to discuss all kinds of sexual activity, as well as same sex relationships and most importantly once they hit two years old and start understanding words, start discussions on names of body parts, 90 percent of children of today learn about s*x from Visuals. A major focus for this particular age group we are discussing about is learning about boundaries and what is and isn’t appropriate when it comes to touching—or being touched—by other people even parents. 

They need to understand the concept of CONSENT. It is crucial that even young children learn to ask before they touch someone else. Lessons around sharing, touch-based games like tickling, and asserting your own boundaries, such as telling a child when it is and isn’t OK to climb onto your lap, all help to create a more intuitive understanding of consent. Lots of children who are comfortable with climbing on the laps of their parents need to understand that this should not be applicable or acceptable. 

Establishing that kids have a say over their own bodies also helps with keeping them safe. While you can skip the explicit details because they may not understand every detail based on lack of vocabulary, you can use the opportunity to tell your child that others should never ask to or try to touch their genitals. It is very important to convey to your children about inappropriate actions at any time, even if they’ve previously kept it a secret, they need to Tell you, which also means they need to trust you and except you to take necessary action appropriately At this age, children can be very curious about each other’s bodies.

As a parent you need to acknowledge this inquisitiveness and not shout at them or discourage them from it, if they do not get the answers from you, they will get it elsewhere, parents should use it as an entry point to discuss family’s rules and values. 

Talk to them explicitly about when it’s appropriate to be naked, and if you do catch your kids playing “doctor or “mummy and daddy”, don’t faint or scream as is the first reaction of most parents. Instead, discuss how it’s not appropriate to handle other people’s genitals, as these are very special parts of the body that shouldn’t be touched by others. At this age, your child might begin asking how babies are made.

These questions are inevitable!! The easiest way out is, knowing the amount of detail you can go into really depending on how much you think your child can comprehend or understand. If your child wants more information, you might try something like, two grown-ups get their bodies together and share the sperm and the egg to make a child like you, or sometimes they get the sperm or egg from someone else. It is totally ok to tell your child that some details, like how sperm and egg meet, will be discussed later, you may not be able to give all details at once, please do not lie.  Ensure to follow up with those questions and not just refuse to talk about certain things.

As a parent/guardian you can tell you children about their own birth story, which lets you tailor the details to your family’s specific situation. Just be sure to note that your child’s birth story is just one of many ways that families are made. It’s important to introduce kids of this age group to the idea that families and relationships can be built in various ways. If your kids are part of or are regularly around non-traditional families, they’ll naturally pick up on this.

But if they aren’t, make sure that you have a few good books that aren’t just on nuclear, heterosexual families, because it is important to note that your children will be exposed to many other ideas on what “family” is meant to be and may be confused. You don’t have to fit everything into one conversation, take it slowly. Listen carefully even if you may not agree with their opinion, exposure to social media at very young age, movies, cartoons and all sorts make them form opinions quite early these days. Take the time, no matter how busy you may be to have the courage to educate your child about sex and sexuality. Be the one who shapes your child’s sexual development and do not leave it to others to do for you, it is your responsibility. 

***Source: The Nation

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